If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
