so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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