you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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