She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
home. puking in laundry basket.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
