He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
