ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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