I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
