i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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