I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
