You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
