the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
