so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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