I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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