You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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