I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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