Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
