I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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