At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
