that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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