So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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