how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize