She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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