so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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