so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i think my mom watched the whole time
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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