Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
