Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
