i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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