I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The ass gains better be worth it
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