benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
