Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize