Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
