thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
