the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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