She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
