I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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