you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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