You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
They are going to name an STD after you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
