Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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