If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
