hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So apparently I’m into choking now
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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