So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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