he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I faked an abortion last night.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
