I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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