no, he came in my armpit
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
