Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.

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(845): forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night. http://tfl.nu/wdqe

Replies (6) Good night (1416) Bad night (487)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji

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(508): this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji http://tfl.nu/f9w1

Replies (9) Good night (1205) Bad night (2230)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

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(859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. http://tfl.nu/xhpk

Replies (45) Good night (850) Bad night (2340)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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(202): i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society http://tfl.nu/5vfp

Replies (55) Good night (917) Bad night (3979)
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(208): View more from Idaho

he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"

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(208): he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something" http://tfl.nu/rcyf

Replies (26) Good night (7484) Bad night (1262)
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(469): View more from Texas

Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life

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(469): Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life http://tfl.nu/9mja

Replies (15) Good night (760) Bad night (4882)
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(562): View more from California

sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone

(1-562): View more from California

there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue

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(562): sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone (1-562): there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue http://tfl.nu/8olm

Replies (9) Good night (853) Bad night (2455)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?

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(812): Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave? http://tfl.nu/yd5g

Replies (4) Good night (2814) Bad night (783)
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(515): View more from Iowa

If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.

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(515): If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/dbsh

Replies (10) Good night (3199) Bad night (834)
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(+35): View more from

I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

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(+35): I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/jeai

Replies (7) Good night (2329) Bad night (713)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?

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(217): Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/sask

Replies (4) Good night (680) Bad night (1773)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl

Replies (18) Good night (1508) Bad night (2167)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?

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(304): How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service? http://tfl.nu/aku2

Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (335)
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(858): View more from California

So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?

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(858): So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom? http://tfl.nu/h0sv

Replies (13) Good night (1563) Bad night (419)
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(650): View more from California

I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?

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(650): I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night? http://tfl.nu/apf6

Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (502)

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