omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.