I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.