I just made out with a guy for $7.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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