God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
