brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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