i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
