we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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