I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
