every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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