Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
