So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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